There's that breaking point when you don't even know what you're fighting for...
When everything just seems like a blurred mess to you.
When everything just seems to fall apart the more you try.
Why should I even bother anymore?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Master of Destruction
I can't help but to destroy everything in my way can I?
I should be kept in solitary.
Away from everything and everyone...
Then I will be able to not hurt or destruct anything in my path.
I should be kept in solitary.
Away from everything and everyone...
Then I will be able to not hurt or destruct anything in my path.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Physics
Facing my worse nightmare now.. When did studies become so difficult?
When did it all become just work and work and no play?
When did my life just become solely constructed of needing good grades?
When did grades suddenly become such an important part of my life?
There are just some things that are never meant to be known...
You are not alone
I know many people go through these phases in their University life but to you it seems like everyone has it in their hand except for you. You are wondering why everyone else it's getting a hang of it when you are slowly drowning in the coursework and the failing grades.
For every good grade there is the sacrifice behind it. University is not as cut out as what we used to think of it when we were younger. We used to watch movie and this perfect girl, pretty, charming, popular, with a high GPA to boot. Honestly, I've not met someone like that yet in University. Maybe there is, but it's so rare. Sad to say, that's the image all of us have planted into our minds, etched into our soul.
Looking at yourself in the mirror, you see the sleepless nights and the lack of sunshine. Sometimes, University just feels like a soul sucking machine that you can't avoid no matter what. There's always so much to do, so many people to please, so many clubs to join.
When I first stepped onto campus, I was afraid. It was a whole new environment for me. Even now, I can't safely say that I'm very confident with myself. I'm not used to not being accepted easily. I'm still not used to not bumping into someone I know at every corner. I'm still not used to not having my support group when I want to organize an activity.
Honestly, there are times when I feel really lost in University because I can't adapt myself to their lifestyle, or more like I do not want to conform to the society. I feel like when I speak up in a class I stick out like I was wearing a ridiculous Halloween costume in class. I feel dismissed by my peers at times. Sometimes I wonder if race is such a big issue after all...
Even though University life may be tough, I'm still thankful to be given the chance to be here. I do miss being back home with my friends, the late night mamak sessions and places that I know so well, and doing things I just love and know so well.
I guess it's all a part of growing up and I'm glad that I'm given this chance. I'm glad that I have my friends whom stuck by me through thick and thin.
For every good grade there is the sacrifice behind it. University is not as cut out as what we used to think of it when we were younger. We used to watch movie and this perfect girl, pretty, charming, popular, with a high GPA to boot. Honestly, I've not met someone like that yet in University. Maybe there is, but it's so rare. Sad to say, that's the image all of us have planted into our minds, etched into our soul.
Looking at yourself in the mirror, you see the sleepless nights and the lack of sunshine. Sometimes, University just feels like a soul sucking machine that you can't avoid no matter what. There's always so much to do, so many people to please, so many clubs to join.
When I first stepped onto campus, I was afraid. It was a whole new environment for me. Even now, I can't safely say that I'm very confident with myself. I'm not used to not being accepted easily. I'm still not used to not bumping into someone I know at every corner. I'm still not used to not having my support group when I want to organize an activity.
Honestly, there are times when I feel really lost in University because I can't adapt myself to their lifestyle, or more like I do not want to conform to the society. I feel like when I speak up in a class I stick out like I was wearing a ridiculous Halloween costume in class. I feel dismissed by my peers at times. Sometimes I wonder if race is such a big issue after all...
Even though University life may be tough, I'm still thankful to be given the chance to be here. I do miss being back home with my friends, the late night mamak sessions and places that I know so well, and doing things I just love and know so well.
I guess it's all a part of growing up and I'm glad that I'm given this chance. I'm glad that I have my friends whom stuck by me through thick and thin.
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